He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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