You really coming over, don't trick.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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