you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
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I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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