She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
