It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
