I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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