Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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