So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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