You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
