He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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