Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
