As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
