i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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