The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This is my gift to your gina
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
BRING THE BAGELS
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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