it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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