So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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