She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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