U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
