What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize