no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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