i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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