Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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