shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
