chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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