It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
