At least make sure they are 18
Why
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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