So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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