he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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