There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
