am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
