Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
