I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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