Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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