I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
