Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
