I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize