I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
