remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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