Quick, to the slutcave!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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