so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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