I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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