I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
