i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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