It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep