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• (904): View more from Florida

  how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.

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• (408): View more from California

  Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin

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