I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
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I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.