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• (312): View more from Illinois

  omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".

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• 

  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (206): View more from Washington

  So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.

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