Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
