Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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