I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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