well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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