it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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