Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is her dick bigger than yours?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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