There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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