He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
