You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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