i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
how drunk are you?
Several
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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