guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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