It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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