When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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