You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
