That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
should my penis look like a turkey
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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