Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
