so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
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I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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