I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
