Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
