you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
