I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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