my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
