Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
