Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your cock deserves a montage
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
