we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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