Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize