Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
