OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
When are your genitals available?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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