Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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